Reflection and Forethought

(WARNING:  Long post ahead.)

Last night was one of those nights that I just had difficulty sleeping because my mind was racing.  I had so many thoughts going through my head regarding what needs to get done at home, what needs to get done at work, and just life in general.  Least to say, I did not get restful sleep last night.

I quit making New Year’s resolutions a long time ago, realizing that they just bring me down when I don’t accomplish them.  Instead, this year I decided to make a goals list for 2013.  This is the first time I have done this.  I have personal, home, and professional goals on my list.  I don’t have to accomplish/complete everything on the list this year, but I would at least like to start on most of them if I can.  This list isn’t terribly long, so it should be achievable.  When making this list, I thought about my life to this point.  Am I where I thought I would be at this age?  No.  Why not?  A number of reasons.  What do I plan to do about it?  And then the list was born.  I, like most people, am very hard on myself.  I can be forgiving of others, but being forgiving of myself is a challenge for me.  There is a scripture in the Bible that really speaks to me.  Mark 11:25:  “’And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.’” When I read this a few years ago, I realized that we have to forgive ourselves too!  Only then can we heal and move forward.

Life is a work in progress.  The work is not done until our time on earth is done because there is always an opportunity to learn or improve on something.  When I look back on my life, I have had a few big disappointments, but who hasn’t?  Thankfully, I have learned and grown as a person from those disappointments and mistakes.  It would be sad and a waste if I hadn’t.  As I look at my life as it is now, I am not where I thought or hoped I would be at this point.  However, the place that I am at is a good one, and I am learning to embrace that.  I have many blessings to be thankful for.  I am actually at a place where I can be thankful for the mistakes I’ve made and the hardships I’ve endured because they have made me who I am today, which is someone I am proud of most days.  I’m not perfect and never will be.  No one can be.

I have written out my goals for 2013 and have them where I can look at them daily.  I am a list maker.  I always write a “to do” list and try to put things in order from most important to least important.  I like to mark things off my list because it makes me feel productive, and I can see what I’ve accomplished.  I am the type of person that if I do something that isn’t on my “to do” list, I write it down on the list so I can mark it off.  I want credit for what I’ve done, even if it’s only me who sees the list!  I know I am not alone in this respect. J 

A lot of people believe in putting very specific timelines on their goals.  While I understand the purpose of this, I also think it puts a lot of pressure on a person (at least me) to achieve something by a certain date.  Certainly there are goals that deserve a very specific date or not much will be accomplished, but not everything has to be so hard coded, so to speak.  Most of my goals do not have a specific date attached to them, but overall I would like to get them started and/or completed this year.  I have a whole year!  I don’t feel trapped by that.

I challenge you to make a goals list for yourself this year.  Make sure they are attainable.  Write them down and put them where you can look at them daily.  Having a list helps put things into perspective and gives you something tangible to look at and cross off.  And, don’t beat yourself up if you don’t finish or start something you wanted to this year.  Life happens and gets in our way sometimes.  You may have to push some of these goals to the next year or just forget about them completely.  It’s okay!  No one even has to know what is on the list except for you.

I’m starting on one of my goals this weekend which is to take sewing classes this year.  My first class is Sunday, and I’m SO excited!  I have been sewing since I was 8, but most of what I know is self taught.  I want to learn the “right” way and hope to be able to sell some of the things I make in the future.  We shall see.  Most of my personal goals center around crafting and being creative.  Thanks a lot Pinterest. (Sarcasm noted here. J)

Life Post Nursing School

I really LOVE life after nursing school.  I actually have a life now.  I'm glad to be making a little bit of money now and be able to see friends and family more.  I also like being able to see my husband daily instead of once a month or once a quarter like it was before we were married and I was in nursing school.  I still have to study for my new job, and there is still a lot to learn, but it is SO much better than school.  School was necessary, but I am so glad to have moved on.  I actually get to go away and visit friends now, which is something that was rare before.

On another note, I was reading an article today about the Supreme Court arguments regarding the Affordable Care Act (ACA), and the author of the article mentioned that one of the justices "baldly" stated something.  I think the author meant to say "boldly," but it was funny considering the justice really is balding.  I have been reading a lot more articles lately about healthcare and various other non health things, and I am really amazed at the number of typos and misspellings there are in published works.  I digress...

Time to Take Control

I am about to put this in a public forum...I have at least 50-60 pounds that I need to lose.  What does that mean?  It means I have completely let myself go allowing every excuse I can muster to justify eating whatever and how much I want and becoming sedentary.  I am ashamed that I have let myself get to this point.  I have decided to take back the control of my health.  I joined an employee wellness team at work to help hold me accountable.  Today, they weighed me, measured my height and waist circumference, took my blood pressure, and took my blood.  I'll let you guess which measurements I wasn't happy about.  I should get my bloodwork back in a few days, and we will see what bad story it has to tell...

I have decided to start my exercising a bit on the light side and work my way back up.  My husband and I have agreed to go for a walk every night.  The dog will like this!  We went tonight, but only for 20 minutes because it was a bit late.  My goal is for us to walk at least 30 minutes a day and gradually increase that time.  I have also found some great and "easy" strength training exercises that I plan to start on tomorrow.  Additionally, we have treadmills and elypticals at work.  I get an hour for lunch and rarely use more than 30 minutes; the rest of the time is spent doing whatever to pass the time.  I have decided to get on the treadmill or elyptical for at least 30 minutes while at work.  At least I will feel productive.  I also need to change my eating habits.  This will be harder as I LOVE food.  I can still eat great meals, I just need to pick healthier items and eat less of it.  Someone gave me the Weight Watchers plan from 1991.  It's very simple, so now I need to go grocery shopping.  I am ready to melt the pounds away!

Here is a funny quote I will never forget:  "My goal weight is my fat weight 10 years ago!"  That statement is SO true!!

Post Hodge Podge

I don’t have a theme with this post, just a few different things to share.

My husband and I did yard work ALL weekend.  His parents helped on Saturday, and it was very much appreciated.  But do you ever work so long and so hard, and then ask yourself, what did we do?!  We only worked on a small section of the yard, but it was such a big job…we took out 8 bushes and replaced the area with sod.  We have many more weekends of work ahead of us, but progress is being made.

I started a new job a month ago and things are going well.  I’ve been looking for a job for five months, and it has been tough.  It’s also been an adjustment going back to work after being off for that long, but it is an adjustment that I am very willing to make.  I am a public health nurse.  This is not a direction I ever saw myself going, but God has a way of pointing you in the direction you need to go.  I really enjoy my job.  I get to work in health promotion, which I really love.  I also enjoy have nights and weekends off, 12 paid holidays, three weeks of vacation, and three weeks of sick leave.  To top it off, I work with really great people who also love their jobs and willingly help each other out.  It is a great environment.

Final thought, second to family, friends are the best thing in life.  Some are only in our lives for a season, and some are truly lifelong friends.  Lifelong friends are the type of friends that you think about frequently even though you may not be able to talk that much and no matter how long you have been apart, you pick up right where you left off.  It’s hard not to take it personally when a seasonal friendship is over, but take it for what it is.  Cherish the time you had with that friend and be thankful for what you got from it.  People get busy and sometimes grow apart.  That’s life.

Married life so far...

Well, I know it’s been a while since my last post.  There are two reasons for that:  one, we cannot find the cords for our cameras to download honeymoon pictures and two, I don’t feel like I have much to report on a regular basis. 

I really am enjoying married life and so is my husband.  I have rediscovered my love of cooking.  I enjoy cooking because I love to eat, and I really appreciate different flavors.  Something we have always done in my family is to try and figure out which spices are in meals that we try so we can recreate them.  I’m not that good yet, but I do like trying to separate the flavors and taste each one after making my meals.  Okay, maybe I’m weird, but I really do have an appreciation for food.  My waistline is proof of that.  I can’t speak for my husband, but I have gained 15 pounds since being married!!!!  Today, I decided that needs to change.  I started working out again and have been more conscious of what and how much I have been eating over the last week.  My change in food habits has helped a little.  I lost an inch in my waist in that week.  The exercise will only help make that better. J  I love having someone to share my life with on a daily basis that is truly interested and really cares how I am doing.  I was blessed with a great husband.

The job front on the other hand has been more challenging.  Most people will say that a nurse can find a job anywhere, no problem.  That is simply not true.  The market for nurses in my city is a little more competitive than where I came from.  After speaking with other nurses in the area, it is difficult for both “old” and “new” nurses.  To be honest (and a little selfish), I have not been trying as hard as I could mostly because I want to enjoy the holidays this year with my family.  After this year, spending holidays with the family will be a luxury.  I have filled out several applications, though.  Now I’m focusing on residency programs to help get my foot in the door.  I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason according to God’s plan.

I recently had the opportunity to work as an extra on a new Tyler Perry movie called, “The Marriage Counselor.”  I was a pedestrian in a scene.  Unfortunately, if the scene makes it to the movie, you will only see the back of me.  Oh well.  It was still a lot of fun getting to watch a movie being made as well as see some stars!

My mom is coming for a visit this week and I am SO excited!!  It’s always nice to spend quality time with my mom. J  Next week, I will be visiting a couple of good friends in East Tennessee.  I’m looking forward to spending quality time with these friends and meeting one of my friend’s new baby.  After that, we will spend Thanksgiving with my husband’s family.  Christmas is a whole other story.  Lots of traveling involved in a short period of time.  I’m looking forward to it, though.  I’m thankful that I have a husband who loves to travel and doesn’t mind letting me go on my own with friends occasionally.  I recently got to enjoy my first trip to Washington, D.C. with a friend.  That was an amazing experience.

Anyway, that is all for now.  Until next time.

I'm Back!

Well, it's been a while since my last entry, and a lot has happened since then.  I graduated nursing school, got married, and went on a cruise in the Western Carribbean (AMAZING...by the way).  I am now in the process of moving my entire life to a new city, getting ready to take my boards to become a nurse, and trying to find a new job.  I'm a little stressed but just trying to soak it all in.  These are good changes in life so I will embrace them.  I have a ton of pictures to share, but I will have to do that later so stay tuned...

Holy Day

Today, I attended church with my grandparents.  We went to the church I attended as a small child to celebrate their 110th anniversary.  I was baptized in this church as an infant and remained there until I was 6 years old.  It was great reminiscing and seeing long lost familiar faces.  The sanctuary has not changed a bit.  It also still smells the same.  I can't really describe the smell except that is smells like an old church.  I LOVE it!  It brought me back to some happy times in my childhood.  Today, the church is part of St. George's Episcopal School.  Since the member numbers have dwindled over the years, this partnership allows to church to stay alive.  This church does a lot of good things for the community.  Here are a few pictures.

The outside of the sanctuary.

Inside the sanctuary.  It is so beautiful!

Needlepoint Kneelers...My mother sewed one of these over twenty years ago.  I wish I could remember which one.

Organ, pipes, and choir loft at the back of the sanctuary.

I cannot remember this man's name, but I do remember he was from Kenya.  He came over to learn more about Christ and become an ordained minister.  He was such a nice man.  I found out that once he went back to Kenya, he was murdered by rebels in his village because of his beliefs and because he was trying to spread the word throughout the village.  Such a sad story, but Heaven gained a beautiful soul.  He was very interesting to talk to.

The napkin says 1901-2011.

This is a little out of order, but this is a picture of one of the Hymnals.  Yes, it says 1982.  Their hymnals and prayer books are so old and falling apart.  These are the same books we used when I was there.